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Вещи, о которых мало кто имеет верное представление

Виталий Е. Ермолин, студент холодных вод seminarist
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Облом как изящное искусство
В 1762 году незнакомая дама обратилась к Самуэлю Джонсону с просьбой: попросить архиепископа Кентерберийского (с которым Джонсон тоже не был знаком) устроить её сына в университет.

Сохранился ответ Джонсона.


“I HOPE you will believe that my delay in answering your letter could proceed only from my unwillingness to destroy any hope that you had formed. Hope is itself a species of happiness, and, perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords: but, like all other pleasures immoderately enjoyed, the excesses of hope must be expiated by pain; and expectations improperly indulged, must end in disappointment. If it be asked, what is the improper expectation which it is dangerous to indulge, experience will quickly answer, that it is such expectation as is dictated not by reason, but by desire; expectation raised, not by the common occurrences of life, but by the wants of the expectant; an expectation that requires the common course of things to be changed, and the general rules of action to be broken.

“When you made your request to me, you should have considered, Madam, what you were asking. You ask me to solicit a great man, to whom I never spoke, for a young person whom I have never seen, upon a supposition which I had no means of knowing to be true. There is no reason why, amongst all the great, I should chuse to supplicate the Archbishop, nor why, among all the possible objects of his bounty, the Archbishop should chuse your son. I know, Madam, how unwillingly conviction is admitted, when interest opposes it; but surely, Madam, you must allow, that there is no reason why that should be done by me, which every other man may do with equal reason, and which, indeed, no man can do properly, without some very particular relation both to the Archbishop and to you. If I could help you in this exigence by any proper means, it would give me pleasure: but this proposal is so very remote from usual methods, that I cannot comply with it, but at the risk of such answer and suspicions as I believe you do not wish me to undergo.

“I have seen your son this morning; he seems a pretty youth, and will, perhaps, find some better friend than I can procure him; but though he should at last miss the University, he may still be wise, useful, and happy.

“I am, Madam,
“Your most humble servant,
“June 8, 1762.”

Простите великодушно, совершенно невозможно удержаться.
"Фельдкурат вздохнул.
-- Человек часто попадает в такое положение, когда ему остается только надеяться. О, как красиво звучит слово "надейся" из того трилистника, который возносит человека над хаосом жизни: вера, надежда, любовь...
-- Я надеюсь, господин фельдкурат, что сумма...
-- Безусловно, многоуважаемый, -- перебил его фельдкурат. -- Могу еще раз повторить, что слово "надеюсь" придает человеку силы в его житейской борьбе. Не теряйте надежды и вы."

Изящно послал на все буквы.