Виталий Е. Ермолин, студент холодных вод (seminarist) wrote,
Виталий Е. Ермолин, студент холодных вод

Еще Дэнни Кэй: "Мыслитель Петров" (The Thinker), 1966

Расшифровка под катом:

I am thinking
And do you know what I am thinking about?
I am thinking about the great problems of the world.
And you want to know the solution?
I tell you. I don’t know.
But I am working on it.

I am Petroff, the thinker. I am very, very smart.
I am sure you won’t believe me, friends, but thinking is an art.
Like an athlete or musician, I must be in good condition.
If you ask me how I’m keeping in the pink –
I think!

I am Petroff the thinker, I am very, very wise,
I started thinking young, before I opened up my eyes.
They said my mind was worth a lot because it’s giving birth to thought.
The doctors, they are finding what the cause is:
Pregnant pauses!

And when it came to money, believe me, I made lots,
For everybody offered me a penny for my thoughts.

I am Petroff the thinker, by now you know the name,
I am number one for everyone in mental hall of fame.
And every ignoramus asked me how I got so famous.
Did I study? Did I practice? I did not!
I thought!
And thought!
And thought, and thought, and thought.

My gosh, did I thought. You will not realize, how I thought. All my waking hours, every minute, every day – thought. How now brown cow, I thought. That’s how I am discovering the secret of successful thinking. A secret even the greatest philosophers cannot teach you. Spinoza can’t. Haegel can’t. And Kant can’t. But:

First you must think about something to think about,
Then when you thought that you think it,
It may be a bell, or a push in the well,
Or a sting, or a ring, or a trinket.
Then quick as a wink you must sit down and think,
Never mind if the thought is a bother,
But as soon as you got what you got from the thought,
Then it’s time that you thought of another.

I will never forget the time that the great Tsar of Russia is coming to me, and he is saying: Nikolai, - that’s my first name, Nikolai – Petroff Nikolai, he said, I have a problem. Why it is that every time I drop a piece of pumpernickel, it is falling with the butter side down? – And I realized right away that he is putting me to the test. And I realized there isn’t another man in all of Russia who can tell him why his pumpernickel is falling with the butter side down. So I think. And I think. And I think. And I think. And then – I find the answer. Your Highness, - I say, - the answer is very simple. You are buttering your pumpernickel on the wrong side. From this time on, people are coming from everywhere to learn the Petroff system. I am teaching thinking to people of all countries. And that’s why you will find that today, absolutely 1966, the smartest people in the world today – think.

In England every cricket-player thinks about his cricketing,
And liberal leaders stand in line to think about their picketing.
We know what Richard Burton thinks about the (?)
And panel (?) in ‘What’s My Line’ is (?) thinking daily.

Every Russian politician thinks about the zone ambition,
And I thinking this condition’s driving me to drink.
So remember the words of Petroff:
I’ll try to be very precise.
Your life can be oh so much better off
If you only take my advice.

Yes, my friend, do you realize that you can live to be a hundred and twenty seven years old if you listen to Petroff? First, you are got to live for a hundred and twenty six years. Then you have to be very, very careful.

Though Petroff the thinker is brilliant to the core
You probably wonder why you’ve never heard of him before.
I will tell you confidentially that Petroff is essentially
A thinker of imaginary kind –
For Petroff the thinker may think he is a thinker,
But Petroff is all in my mind.
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